Epic Anthology 2012: Life Map.

Recently in my life I’ve wondered what it means to love someone. I’ve definitely struggled with this idea of love. There are many different forms. Love can be found in loving your parents. We say we love something, or love doing something. You can love a significant other. But I’ve come to believe that there is a love that encompasses all these different kinds of love. This love comes from a God that gave us love, the God that is love.

In my life I’ve struggled with loving others. When I was little, I had my friends whom I hung out with. However, there were others that didn’t; there were others that stood alone on the sidelines, without acceptance and community. What would have been the right way to love them? To welcome them, to go to them and reach out to them. However, I didn’t fully understand this love, and I didn’t act.

I’ve also struggled with loving someone. Yes, in that way. I’ve been in relationships where sure, we are extremely fond of each other. But we didn’t know how to truly love each other. I failed so many times. I was jealous. I didn’t sacrifice for her. I didn’t protect her, especially from the person who could hurt her the most: myself. I didn’t know what it meant to love, and in the end, my relationship resulted in hurt and brokenness.

Finally, I learned in church about oppression in other countries. I learned about the kidnapping of girls to force them into the sex trade. I learned about present-day slavery. I learned of how so many people in the world are hurt by someone else’s actions and scarred for life. And then I realized what they need.

See, God says in the Bible that love is patient and kind. It doesn’t envy or boast. It isn’t arrogant or rude. It doesn’t insist on its own way. It rejoices with the truth. And there are many more descriptions of what love is. And then it says God is love. And in the story of Jesus Christ, I see this perfect love that is constantly pursuing us, despite our rejection of him. I see this love that is able to reach out to those that have no friends, this love that is able to sacrifice and to pursue someone in a way that is so romantic and loving, this love that will heal all the broken hearts in the world. I now understand (or understand much more) this love, and it has changed my life. I want to share that love with you, and everyone else I meet.

Progress.

A week before yesterday, on Friday, AACM’s large group was in the evening. It was a night of stations and prayer, just some alone time with God. I went through the stations hoping that God will comfort me, speak something to me, but honestly, I didn’t get much out of it. Then there was the last station, which talked about pride. I went through it, and it was a good reminder about how sometimes my pride and will get in the way of God’s will and glory. After this station, I went up to the roof just to pray and be with God.

Then on the roof, I asked God, should I join AACM or Epic? And this thought just kept surfacing in my head. Join Epic. Join Epic. Join Epic. Over and over again. So that’s how it happened. I believe God was simply telling me. So I decided to stick with it.

After thinking about it, I can’t think of many logical reasons. Epic does focus a lot more on outreach, which I decided over summer to be my main goal in college. I also think that if I joined AACM, pride issues would surface, especially if I started serving.

That Friday, I had discipleship with Steven and Daniel before large group. We went over God’s glory. Basically, God does things for His own glory, and He will give His glory to none other. Everything He does, from creating us to saving us is for Himself. He doesn’t save us for us, He saves us so that we can know His glory.

God’s will is so much greater than mine. It’s infinitely greater. God will get His way. I kept thinking about this that Friday night. Then I started thinking about how I wanted to join AACM to serve and to invest in all these people. Then I realized that by thinking this, I was also thinking that it was my job to invest in them, that if I don’t do it, then it wouldn’t happen. Which is absolutely ridiculous.

So what am I thinking about AACM as I join Epic? Yes, there are plenty of people in AACM that I want to get to know and invest in, but I think God wants me to trust Him with them. I don’t think it’s my job. Maybe there are a couple guys that God will put in my way to use me. But it’s God’s work, not mine. I’m confident that He has grand plans for AACM.

Nothing can stop God from saving His elect. That’s not an excuse for me not to be proactive. But it’s a comfort to me, knowing that it is nothing I do, and everything God does.

Good start to the week.

Went to play laser tag at Blazer Tag with the Epic freshmen guy small groups today! It was a lot of fun. Andrew came too. I felt pretty sick this morning, but going and moving around made me feel better. Now, here in the Jester lounge, I’m starting to feel cold again…

Last Friday, God told me to join Epic. So I guess I found my community for the next 3.5 years.